Sunday, October 26, 2014

I cannot accept it

If you say it's all over,
I accept it.

If you say that this was all to teach me a lesson
that I must suffer to expiate my sins,
I accept it.

If you tell me I must suffer
because I must learn how the gopis suffered
when Krishna left them in the rasa dance
or when he left for Mathura
or when they saw him in Kurukshetra
and realized he would never come back,
I accept it.

And if there is nothing more that I can do
no words I can say
no miracles within my reach that I can work
to soften your heart,
I accept it.

If you tell me the dream wasn't real
that I was in illusion,
that love in this world is not real
that men and women are attracted merely by lust
and must accept the consequences of their ignorance,
I accept it.

And if you say we're too old,
that time has run out
and there's no more room left in our lives
to chase after such ephemera as love,
yes, I accept it.

If you say my love was inadequate
with my head bowed in shame
I accept it.

But if you say
the love by which you left scars on my heart,
the remnants of the touch of our breasts,
did not exist, was not real,
I cannot accept it.

And if you tell me the silent sonar that
pulses out of my chest
into infinite space, seeking you wherever you are,
has nothing to find, that there is nothing there,
no echo,
I cannot accept it.
I do not accept it.
I will never accept it.

No comments:

Post a Comment