The Unripe Apple

I made a choice
and not the one I expected.
I am the unripe apple, dear,
not ready to fall from the tree.

Someone said to me yesterday,
If you are not where you are supposed to be,
then God must have made a mistake,
and God does not make mistakes.

I laugh at this argument,
but I am weary of the debate,
and I have chosen honor over glory,
duty over full surrender.

Is there any love in this? I am asked.
Do I have a theology of suffering,
like the Catholic burden of the cross
that is carried in the pain
of having been forsaken?
unbearable in the knowledge
that it was given by God
to be borne?

Perhaps I was not meant for glory,
Some are born just to suffer
and that, in the eyes of God, is their glory.
I must choose the path of honor, my dear,
no matter how much the Divine Couple
has become real to me in your embrace.

So here is a toast to the Sahajiya way,
In this, too, work must come before play.

ॐ तत् सत्